5 secrets

This fine morning I decided to check what was going on online (I don't happen to be online often and for a long time lately) and I visited Isabelle's blog...nice surprise!! She wrote her 5 secrets and asked me to do the same....
Isa, chuis en train de faire ça pour toi!!

But I have to think over it...5 secrets...I have many secrets but the REAL intimate ones won't be written here...

1) Exactly like Isa, I seem to be a magnet for guys who don't attract me at all. Or, on the contrary, the attraction is mutual but they are only interested in physical activities, and don't care if I have a brain and can create sentences of more than 3 words in a coherent and sensible way. Or they flatter me on how smart I am as a way to go to bed with me. A very explicit example is the one of the french prick:
"Ema I love talking to you, you're so smart even if french is not your mothertongue, our conversations are like chess matches...I'm sure you want to have some fun after this match"
F**K off...

2) I lack self-esteem, and this is due basically to 2 reasons. First of all my uncle, who used to repeat me since I was like 4 years old things like "You're fat, stop eating, don't eat, you'll look ugly when you grow up" and since I haven't stopped eating I guess in a corner of my mind I am aware of being ugly because of that. The second reason is pretty much linked to the first secret: if guys don't consider me, or just consider me for sex, there must be something wrong with me. Hence, low self-esteem.
Happily in time this has considerably diminished. I am pretty much satisfied of how I look like and especially how I am inside. And I don't give a shit about who cannot see it. The only thing left is that everytime someone seems interested in me NOT only because of sex, I can't help thinking it must be a joke. And feeling unsure.

3) Once I hated pink. Now I looove pink!!
Except for guys...it's too metrosexual!! (no, lilac is not pink but it's also metrosexual for guys!!) ----> it should be clear I'm not into metrosexual guys.

4) I am way too cathartic (if this word exists): I happen to shed tears while I watch a movie, read a book, listen to a song, write a poem or even while I am telling out my feelings to someone.

5) I keep dreaming of a prince charming though knowing he will never cross my path. Or better, my 5th secret is that I believe my prince charming will never cross my path so I just keep dreaming of it.

I still have many secrets to tell, maybe one day I'll do the part 2...
Merci Isa, c'était une trèèèssss bonne idée celle des 5 secrets...au fait, c'était qui à avoir fait ça la première fois? Mystère....